It is my proposal herewith in this small essay, that RESILIENCE should be considered as a formula or a combination of “Arts and Actions” that tend to help those who exercise it, getting positive or favorable results in the work of self-help and self–improvement in regards to human adversity and misfortunes.
Based on a premise that we are all unique and different and that the motivations also vary considerably, then this will take us to different paths, results and personal preferences.
It should be added here (to my way of seeing and thinking) that “we have to or need to help resilience” with proactive actions (as opposed to reactive actions).
There comes to mind a cute metaphor to reflect on this thinking which is: “Let’s suppose we are in the middle of a lake on an old boat that has multiple holes and not only cannot move forward but we are slowly sinking because water is entering the tiny boat with largish holes. So if we are to avoid sinking, we urgently need to plug those holes (which in real life are the toxic holes that affect us in our lives, all of those unresolved issues that affect us).
Since I’m on the topic of “excess of water” ( which is usually very harmful) I’ll give you another one: Imagine having a leak in your roof , first you put a bucket, 2 days later the hole is much larger and serious, need 2 buckets, on the 4th day the water is affecting a bigger area and enlarging the hole, also affecting the whole roof now. On 7 days the entire roof collapses! (Get it?) Conclusion is: “The problems or Evils of this life need to be addressed first ASAP before the evils and the problems decide to address us! I guess could also say, here is a good example of proactivity vs. reactivity management.
Then I feel encouraged to express my humble opinion, that resilience is ….. or we can interpret it as a very complex and multifaceted human quality …… namely:
o the art of taking failures as opportunities to keep trying .
o the art of not accepting momentary falls as definite.
o the art to re-make ourselves from the bits we are to the whole person we ought to be
o the art of keep moving on our own power.
o the art to keep going forward even when it hurts or costs us a lot
o the art of transforming negative situations into positive ones.
o the art to convince us that it is well worth continuing!
o the art of not betraying our ethical values and principles.
o the art of thinking from time to time on others that may need us a lot!
o the art of not “flying solo “, teamwork always pays more and better .
o the art of keeping our eyes on the road and not on the destination.
o the art to believe, trust and follow the advice of our faithful friends.
o the art of being obstinate in front of failures and repeated falls (no evil will live or last 100 years)
o the art of systematically count the seconds, minutes, hours and days….(and wisely utilise and invest them in
o the art of caring for our health as if we were to live forever.
o the art of pulling the throttle to the full even when we are going downhill on a free fall
o the art of knowing the last second before the collision in order to apply the hand brake before crashing
o the art of exercising self -criticism but without self- destruction, watch the internal judge we all have!
o the art of accepting criticism from others, without taking it like a law.
o the art of turning negative feelings into positive ones.
o the art of turning negative thoughts into positive ones.
o the art of surrounding ourselves with friends without depersonalizing ourselves or sacrificing our
o the art of accepting others as they are.
o the art of comprehending and accepting that it is much easier to change ourselves than others.
o the art of learning to be happy in this world regardless of our relationships or possessions.
o the art of being even happier, living with those who love and respect us exactly as we are!
o the art of being generous but also sensible with our energies and time given to those who needs us .
o the art of selecting how to invest our energies as if it was the only chance we have to do.
In addition it can be said that “assertiveness” is like a not too distant cousin of “resilience” because much inner strength and emotional intelligence are needed to overcome unpleasant situations that in some cases have been affecting us for many years.
Family traditions for example (in some cases) are usually one of the reasons for unhappiness and depression for some. Assertiveness incorporates cognitive and behavioral notions that helps strengthen resilience depth, then I can conclude that both are “COMPLEMENTARY”.
A definition of resilience in my view could be: “The art of recognizing and accommodating the existence of physical, sentimental and emotional energies, giving each of them their moments of expressions, whether exteriorising them or internalising them.
Then they become two of the most important tools/strategies in the struggles and prevention work against depression and suicide.
Aristotle said very clearly and succinctly: “There is nothing good or bad in this world, is only our mind that makes it so.”
“The glass half full or half empty” is another very good example.
More than a definition or concept I have learned that RESILIENCE it is a whole “lifestyle”, a “philosophy of survival” and one of the ways that we tune and assimilate the positive and negative experiences. Of course, the choices we made and interpretations are our domain and a total responsibility of ours.
Resilience is synonym of “WORK”, there are no simple or simplistic solutions, rather they are complex, multi-disciplinary, with multifaceted and pluralistic approaches.
Epistolary, I leave this door open for those who would like to contribute to this conversation because I do not consider myself an expert in “this art” but rather am an individual with some firsthand experiences.
“UP THE RESILIENCE ”